Before Dustin and I had even met, I dated a guy named Jack. We had a summer romance and by the time school was starting back up he wanted to join the army and I wanted no part of being a army wife, so being young we decided to call it quits. He joined the army and I went on to marry Dustin. He was in the army the whole time I was married and was honorable discharged only a few months before Dustin passed away. About a month after the accident, we started talking on Facebook. He had been through many traumatic events serving our country, so he was full of advice for me. He helped me put things into perspective and even saved me from taking my own life one night when I felt like I couldn’t take it anymore. I remember sitting on the couch and I had made the decision, I had three guns, no one would care, I couldn’t do this, I can’t survive this pain, those were the things I was telling myself. He was there for me, he didn’t panic, he just talked me down and come over to be with me. After that, I knew he was special. He stuck by me through all of the crazy stuff I had to do. Then in September, we were on the phone and he said,” I love you.” I never thought a man would say that to me again. One of the first thoughts I had when my husband passed away was who is going to want to be with me, I have three small children and a dead husband. Plus I knew I would be too picky. I wanted someone who would be fine with me having pictures of Dustin around, who would treat my kids like their own, someone who would understand I love Dustin and that will never change, someone I could talk to about him without feeling guilty, and someone who could handle the mess that is my life. Somehow, I managed to find this man. I found one of the last true gentlemen. He loves my kids and Dustin and I’s family. He has been there to hold my hand, wipe my tears, and hug me until I stop crying. He was there everyday for the trial, sitting next to me and making sure I didn’t loose it and go punch Ricardo in the face. On March 8th, he asked me to marry him at the restaurant where we had met 10 years before. I said yes. He has been the best gift I could ever get in a time like this. He is everything I want and need. He keeps me strong when I don’t feel like I can be anymore.
On April 27th, we were married at a church in the town we both grew up in. On my side the only family members from my family were my parents, the rest were from Dustin’s family. Dustin’s family has been wonderful to me and have been there for me since day one. They were a little shocked at first when I told them about Jack, but once they met him they quickly found out why I love him so much. Dustin’s parents think of me as their daughter more than ever now, so to them he is their son in law. Of course we received judgements from other people. But to those people, they have no right to even have an opinion, until you go through exactly what I have you have no idea the choices you would make. If you would have asked me before I would have said I would never want to be with anyone again, but you never know until you are put in a situation like this. I know Dustin is proud that I have found someone to make me happy and to be a good father to his kids like he was. I knew Dustin better and more deeply than anyone else, so I know what he would want and no one will ever make me think differently. That is why I am the luckiest and unluckiest person. I have found two wonderful men that love me greatly and I love them. Most people never find great men like I have. That makes me feel lucky.
Jack and Dustin's Dad
The day after he asked me to marry him, we found out I was pregnant again. I say again because a month before that we had a miscarriage. About two weeks before our wedding we found out I was going to miscarry again, instead of waiting for it to happen or to risk it happening during the wedding I had a D&C. A couple of days after my D&C I developed a very bad infection and had to have a repeat D&C. We had pathology done on the baby and blood work done on both of us. The baby was a girl and was perfectly fine. I have two gene mutations called MTHFR which means I don’t absorb folic acid so I started taking Folgard. All of Jack’s blood work came back fine. We have seen a high risk OB and have came out empty handed. I don’t understand why this happened twice in a row for us when I have never had this problem before. We have waited a few months and will hopefully have a healthy pregnancy soon. My daughter says we have to have a girl so send me pink baby dust. My youngest son says he wants a purple baby so I don’t know how I am going to pull that off. I hope this goes good for us this time, I really can’t handle much more tragedy.